2004 Schoolies Report

6-12-04 - Life for me is fucking great. I have returned from Schoolies alive and well but as you can see I had one hell of a time at Schoolies. For some people who had high expectations from Schoolies like thinking everyone roots left right and centre might have been disappointed but for those of us who went to Schoolies to have a week of freedom and fun with all our school mates together for possibly the last time then it would have been a blast like no other. Personally Schoolies was like a constant party that extended for the week, I was seriously drunk 24/7, my daily routine was get up have breakfast/lunch, watch TV, get drunk, go out, come back and crash and sleep, Repeat next day. Spending time with all my friends was probably enough for me, all I expected from this trip was to have the best times with friends and I'm pretty sure that's what happened so I'm happy either way. Also a lot of shit happened during Schoolies that I could write a bloody essay about if I could be bothered.

Even before we get there I learn that Sam has gotten with a 26 year old up at Byron... a 9 year difference doesn't turn those MILF's off do they? Lee tells me she was pretty hot as well :| Anyway next thing we know Sam's in one of the cool down rooms after throwing up everywhere and is taken away by his "girlfriend" that no body knows who it is... Anyway it was believed Sam was raped by this mystery woman or girl which is kinda disturbing but I doubt that happened... Next comes Rhiannon's misfortune in the elevators which also involved Sam again I think... The story goes is we were sitting in our hotel across the road from Sam's and those guy's at Longbeach when the fire alarm or whatever goes off and fire trucks and what nots come and we're just watching from our balconies while throwing a few drinks down. So it turns out the elevator got stuck and the people inside weren't getting enough oxygen and some were fainting and the mirrors inside were getting all fogged up. And unlucky for Rhi, when someone was trying to open the thingy door at the top of the elevator the opposite side fell on her head and cut her head open pretty good and it was just pretty funny watching all the firemen dudes casually walking into the reception.

From then on my memory kinda blends into one and I'm not sure what the hell happened during the middle if anyone remembers please enlighten me cauz I've got this feeling that I've missed something... Oh yeah met some really strange people around this time like Christina, Danielle (aka Blaklavsh lady) and her friends next door to us. Ok next event would probably be the most funny out of our whole trip. One night Tim and Eric decides to out do each other in drinking spirits, Tim in his eternal wisdom downs almost a whole bottle of Jim Beam, Tim's pretty screwed in the head. So anyway the story goes after Tim dances for pamphlets we head down to Caval St. (how ever you spell it) I head off with ruan doing something and next thing I know it Tim's getting with some scary black chick which lots of people believed to either be Aboriginal or American. So here I am laughing my pants off at Tim when he's at the beach with his top off and this black chick on his lap fully making out. The story goes that she held a firm hold on Tim's wang and lead him everywhere sort of like a groper that is being groper... Yes so Ruan states his concern that Tim will get some disease so me and him go after her as she leads Tim away never to be seen again and we **try** to get him away from her but in his drunken state he rejects our concerns with a comment about Ruan's shirt colour and she enquired if we wanted to watch them... obviously Tim was lost to us and we were both sickened by her remark legged it out of there and thinking Tim knew what he was doing we headed off to back to Caval. As it goes after we left, some guys called the police cause this crazy black chick was leading Tim around by his wang and the police came and asked if Tim wanted to press charges... he said no (big mistake) anyway they took her away anyway by before she left she yelled.....

"By the way I'm a Man"...

So Yes Tim was getting with a transvestite and what made it worse was there was like a few hundred people on the beach and they all heard this. Also before the police took her away he was like "call me later" and shit so it was a massive shock for Timmy the groper now Timmy the Groped. Ha ha but how are we so certain she was a man well there's a lot of evidence, One some guys were talking to her before and they noticed her boobs didn't line up properly and when questioned she showed them she had stuffing and had manly pecks. Yuck secondly her attire was very suspicious like she wore heavy dark clothing that hid her features, next people swore they saw a bludge in her pants so go figure but i guess anyone wouldn't have picked it up being so drunk and lastly it's reported she had an Adams apple but i guess Tim didn't care or couldn't see it.

Oh shit you had to be there to know how much shit Tim chopped for this one. We even made this cycle we think Tim's going through that he's trying to tell us he's gay but softening the blow for us by scrapping the barrel with all his latest "conquests" and by the time he comes out of the closet we wouldn't be surprised at all. Ahh poor Tim although he's gone through more that any mortal could've he still solders on, I mean nope this little incident doesn't set Tim back, and the next day he's back in the midst of it attempting to sweet talk every girl from Surfer's to Tweed Heads. Tim is a remarkable person, his ability to rebound after such a scary adventure is almost godlike, I have not met a person who could take shit so well like Tim did. For this Tim I salute you :P.

After that my lungs hurt too much so I decided to watch the sunrise as it was already 4:30 so that's why I've got pictures of the Sun rising. Bah, Rolling along nothing could have capped what happened with Tim but neither the less is was still funny. Second last night was suppose to be a quiet one for most of us, seeing how we were leaving soon but for me and Luke it's just like any other day... Luke walks into our room silhouette against the light outside carrying a bottle of 700ml black label Smirnoff vodka... This image was almost surreal if I knew what I was in for. With my statement of "Fuck this I'm getting wasted tonight", Luke wastes no time in setting up our fuck-me-up-now-with-lots-of-alcohol thingy on the table. This consisted of two cups about 200ish ml filled to the rim with our black labelled poison, we cheers to our oblivion and some other crap I can't remember and sculled this 42% alcohol cup of fucking doom. Trust me it tastes like your drinking fire but good way to kill all those bugs from sucking too much cock... Our two cups equalled about half the bottle of vodka and next thing I know my head starts getting all red and hot, just check out the bottle and the colour of my face in one of those pictures :( After that it was a few more shots and we almost finished the bottle, we grab some Woodstocks down them, I go up to Eric's apartment directly above mine and have two shots of his vodka jelly which I made but fucking cunts left them in the fridge when we checked out. Yeap after vodka jelly I head back down to Luke's room and slam down a beer or two in the beer bong and I know I've hit the shithole. Been there down that, so after that my memory gets all fucked up and I can't remember anything but waking up in Matt's room. Fuck drunk so much that night my Liver is still recovering from it.

Now that's only half the story as me and Luke were outa of the picture apparently a fight broke out on Caval and naturally everyone rushed in to see it. This is where Rob and John get done for public nuisance, apparently they were at different places when they rushed to see the fight and they got pushed into uniformed police officers who told them to back off and in their drunken states were being smartasses so one thing leads to another and they both get thrown in the back of a paddy wagon to the amusement of everyone around them. Now the funny part is they both didn't do anything and both got taken to Southport cop shop which is quite far away from Surfers. Well the funny part John gets release that night and decides to walk home as he has no wallet, the distance walking back is like walking from Hornsby to Pymble as we drove there the next day and it's not fun. So John wanders Southport not knowing where he is and some how wanders back to our hotel after like 3ish hours of walking. The funny thing is John did absolutely nothing and even the cop said he arrested John cauz he was bored so future Schoolies goers be warned the pigs can be bloody wankers. Rob got bailed out and John even saw Rob but wasn't allowed to talk so talk about coincidence of seeing each other in the same cop shop.

Next night was quiet one for me, as I was driving the next day but that didn't stop me having a few drinks at the Irish pub, this also leads to a certain muscle man being fingered in where the sun doesn't shine but he's not denying it or agreeing to it so meh but it's still pretty fucking funny a guy being fingered... Ahh the fun does not stop as I also convince some randoms that a certain red haired person was gay while they were trying to make me hook up with them. Ha Ha that'll show you to try to play cupid wouldn't it?, anyway no harm in lying about someone swinging for the other team now is there? ;)

So that pretty much caps off my adventures at Schoolies and to my knowledge that's how everything went down. If I remember anything more I'll add to this but boy was this a long write up. I hope everyone had the best time ever up there cauz I certainly did. Yea sorry for missing out on a lot of people cauz I couldn't be bothered to take the camera onto the street as I was mostly pissed off my head so didn't want to break it or lose it and it doesn't feel right taking picutres of randoms and getting arrested or whatever. Also quite a few of these photos ain't taken by me or probably by me but while my BAC was through the roof. Anyway some of the best times were had in this great week, it's a shame didn't get more pictures but alas more parties coming up for sure so for now I'm going to hit the sack after only getting like 1 or 2 hours of sleep on average this whole week, fuck me dead right now and until next times my friends

Adios mis amigos